do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
