Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This beer is not sobering me up at all
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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