thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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