babies were throwing up all over the place
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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