i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Tornado booty call.. dedication
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
