I'm really into asian looking animals
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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