Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
