had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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