Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
