Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
