just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
