You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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