I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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