A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize