we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
