i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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