i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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