I smell stomach acid.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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