i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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