I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm passing your future prison.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
