Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
