I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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