Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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