she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize