Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Plan B is the new Plan A
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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