Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
