Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
