i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize