Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
