Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
