they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
