sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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