Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
