did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
