I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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