Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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