Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
