Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
