Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Houston, we have a squirter
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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