Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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