If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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