yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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