we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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