He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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