okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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