Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
