I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
