Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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