There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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