What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Randomize
