so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
