the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize