I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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