dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
