stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
