it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize