Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
