He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
