I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
