He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
