i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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