things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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