My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
