i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
