god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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