So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
