FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
