So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
