Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
