I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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