enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
