If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
