Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
