He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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