you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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