Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
