belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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