I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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